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Fresh Froot
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Mister Death RJ: McFlono McFloninoo Post Rating: 0 + / - Total Posts: 266 Karma: 300 Joined: Feb 6, 2012 |
Posted on Feb 25, 2012 (Last edited on Feb 25, 2012) Das Froot* opens its warehouse doors!Quantities are limited, and so are our prices! Every day at a specific time*, all our Froot** will be put on the B2B for 1.5x the export price! This means you can sell Froot* for the same retail price that I do! Guaranteed!*** Proceeds**** from sales are used to expand our plantation, so the more Froot* you buy, the more Froot* I can sell you tomorrow! The period key on my keyboard is broken, so all punctuation will be in exclamation points or question marks! How exciting is that? Das Froot* - all the fruit that grows!***** Crops coming soon! *"Das Froot", "Froot" and "All the fruit that grows" are trademarks of Das Froot and its owner. "Froot" includes all fruits and tomatoes. The "specific time" is a function of when the owner got to bed the night before and will appear random for all intents and purposes. **"All our Froot" means an amount equal to at least 60% of daily plantation production, prorated by production time of individual items. Froot* not guaranteed to be fresh; quality may vary. ***Das Froot guarantees that you are allowed to set your store prices to any amount you please, including the same prices set in our supermarket. Because Das Froot's owner is a math nerd and not completely stupid, he can guarantee that his supermarket prices are exactly twice what he is selling his Froot* to you for. ****"Proceeds" means a vanishingly small percentage of the profits generated by wholesale sales. The remaining profits will go to fuel the owner's increasingly lavish and flamboyant lifestyle. *****Apples and strawberries temporarily out of season. |
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